How to Stop Playing Small in Your Life
I’ve done it.
You’ve done it.
We’ve all had times in our lives when we decided to hold back. It’s been called “playing small” and I think that phrase was first coined by spiritual philosopher Marianne Williamson (one of my faves). It is something which far too many of us do in our day-to-day living. “Playing small” refers to the times when we choose to focus on short term goals, such as activities or things that will provide temporary comfort, relief, security and validation rather than stretching ourselves and doing something out of our comfort zone.
It can also mean hiding, not stepping in to who we are meant to be.
Are You “Playing Small”?
There are a few telltale signs that will indicate whether or not you are playing small in your life. Some of the most common include:
- Succumbing to fear
- Waiting to be asked (this may include being asked to share your talent, to speak at a conference, or to even dance on the dance floor)
- You feel crushed by criticism
- You remain silent when you want to speak
- The word “no” stops you in your tracks
So often we allow that fear to dictate our next steps and pretty soon, weeks, months and years go by and we find ourselves wondering how we got here – living a life that isn’t fulfilling.
How You Can Stop Playing Small
It’s vital that you not let it become a regular occurrence and to instead accept it as a temporary state. Have your “pity party” over a bowl of ice cream or a glass of wine with your girlfriends. Just make sure it doesn’t last beyond a day or two. My rule: I get one day to really wallow, then it’s time to move on. Learning how to deal with fear and take action is key.
Give Yourself Time To Recover From Setbacks
Once you’re done with the ice cream, it’s time to check in to see what’s really going on inside. Reflection time is crucial and includes thinking outside of the box, choosing a different path and feeling re-inspired. Surround yourself with people who help feed you emotionally, spiritually and energetically and fill your brain with what’s possible.
Commit Yourself To The Experience
No matter what your life goals and vision may be, there will be setbacks. No one can predict the future, but what you can predict is how well you will react to the situation and that means you’ll need to learn to be proactive. Decide how you’re going to handle situations before they happen. How will you respond when asked to present at the next team meeting? How will you ensure you speak up when you have an idea that will solve a current issue at work? Planning your actions prior to needing them is a great way to gain confidence and clarity. Commit yourself to showing up and remain focused. The reward is you will feel free, connected, and at peace in your life.
Slow Down
Life today is fast paced and seems to place many demands on us – but is it life placing those demands? Or is it us asking more from ourselves than we are capable of handling?
By slowing down and taking things step by step, you will create the space you need to make the changes or decisions that are effective rather than reactive. Bottom line: take time for you.
Know What You Want From Life
We all have a fairly clear idea of what we do not want from life – that part is easy. So how come knowing what we do want can seem challenging? Stop thinking about what you should do or what you think others want you to do.
Own your life, take responsibility, and really think about what it is you want to accomplish. You will be amazed by how much your life will transform by simply acknowledging what it is that you desire from this short period of time we have here on earth.
Be selfish and give yourself that time.
P.S. Do you doubt your own abilities despite receiving accolades? Are you struggling daily because you keep on listening to that cynical voice in your head? Then join me on February 25th at 6 pm Central. I will be doing a live webinar wherein I will teach you how you can be free of self-doubt. It’s free to attend. Sign up now athttps://babschurchill.com/webinar/