Beginning Doesn’t Mean Starting Over
I have a confession to make.
I like to do things I know how to do.
It makes me feel competent, professional and smart.
When I’m doing what I’m really good at, I’m at the top of my game – in the zone. Feels really good.
Then, there are the times I want to try something new.
I love learning new things and don’t really mind not being good at them right away – depending on what that new “thing” is.
If it’s learning how to throw a pot on a potter’s wheel or try a new recipe or learn how to climb a rock wall – I’m all in. That seems adventurous and fun and maybe even exciting.
It changes a bit when it has to do with business.
I like to know exactly what I’m doing and how to do it.
I like being the “expert”; you know, the one people come to for help with an issue or to run something by or to facilitate a program for or speak on a particular topic I know a lot about.
Yeah, just because I’m a coach, doesn’t mean my ego takes a back seat all the time. She likes sitting up front once in a while.
And that’s where I can get stuck if I allow myself to stay there.
Have you ever had this feeling – not liking to be the “newbie” in the room?
During the last few years I have made a shift in my business to speaking, facilitating and coaching for organizations with an emphasis on emerging women leaders. It felt very natural and aligned with my purpose. So what could possibly be an issue?
I forgot to let my Inner Critic know that her input would not be required.
She must have felt out of the loop, so she came up with all kinds of wonky thoughts around this change. (I’m quite sure she put in a lot of overtime, based on her lengthy list). Thoughts that told me:
I was starting all over again.
What was I thinking?
How will I ever get clients?
There’s too much competition.
You can’t change now; you have three kids in college!
And so many more.
So why is it that we don’t like being a beginner? What do we make that mean?
Myth #1: Beginners don’t know anything
Not true. Just because you are new or newer to something doesn’t mean you know nothing. That “all or nothing” edict your critical voice uses is just plain bunk. You know plenty about a myriad of things and can bring that knowledge into this new experience which will make it even richer.
Myth #2: It’s better to be a big fish in a small pond, than a small fish in a big pond
Personally, I don’t think it’s good to be in a pond at all – I’m not a fan of snapping turtles, muddy bottoms or murky water. But I digress.
Here’s how I see it. If I’m in a small pond, where is the room for growth – for me or the clients I serve? What kind of collaborative opportunities am I missing by staying?
The ego wants us to stay safe and small so it can puff up its chest and feel all-knowing.
The reality is, there are many more opportunities for you to meet interesting people and explore new ideas when you expand into larger spaces.
Myth #3: Beginning = Starting Over
While it may seem like this sometimes, especially when you’re not moving forward at the pace you’d like, you’re not starting over.
When you want to bake a cake, you follow the recipe, pour it in a pan and bake it in the oven. Sometimes it turns out great and other times it sticks to the bottom of the pan leaving you with a lot of tasty chunks.
When you try again, does it mean you’re starting over with no knowledge with which to draw upon? No. You now know what you did that didn’t work and you try again, armed with this new awareness.
Like an experiment. No harm. No foul.
There’s a lightness that comes with being in the beginning stages of something. No pressure to keep up appearances or beat last years’ numbers or…
It’s fresh and new – and can be very exciting!
I invite you to take a leap of faith and join me in the big pond. I’d love to explore this vast new world with you!
This weeks’ challenge: If you are like most people and don’t enjoy being the “beginner”, I invite you to sign up for something you know nothing about. It could be an improvisational class or a class on how to make sushi or going to your local Toastmasters chapter meeting because you secretly want to be on stage as a speaker. Whatever you choose, post it here so we can cheer you on!
P.S. Feel free to share this with someone you know who has outgrown their pond. Give them the gift of real change by using the icons below. Share away!