Fake It Until You Believe It
If you’ve been following me for any length of time, you know I’m all about authenticity. I firmly believe that showing up as the real you is the only way to be truly successful, happy and fulfilled.
So, what I’m about to tell you may seem contradictory – but I promise it’s not.
In my executive coaching practice, one of the main things I help leaders with is building confidence. This looks different for different people.
Some need to build confidence to present to a group of their peers or leaders at the next level.
Some need to build confidence to help them with their new promotion so they feel more comfortable performing and managing.
Some need to build confidence in knowing that their current skills, talents and expertise is enough – just as is – and learn to own them and use them to their fullest.
Do any of these sound familiar to you?
I know I sometimes struggle with that last one, especially when I’m faced with doing something that is new or challenges me.
One person wrote, “I second guess my knowledge constantly and I’m afraid to relay incorrect information. Working in a male dominated industry, I feel extra pressure to do the extra work/research to be sure I am accurate. I feel like a small mistake could cause me to lose any credibility and respect I have earned. I would love to be able to just remain centered, confident in myself and calm.”
Can’t you just feel this woman’s pain?
I think we’ve all been there at one time or another.
My response is: you can remain centered, confident in yourself and calm – right now.
3 Steps to Feeling Confident Instantly
- Visualize – You already know how you are showing up in those situations where you don’t feel confident, so why keep replaying the video of that in your mind? You have the power to create a new one. Take a minute or two every day to visualize how you want to show up. Get specific. See in your mind’s eye exactly they way you want it to be: your clothes, hair, office board room or large audience event. What’s the topic and what do you know about it. Really dig in here and mine for the gold that is your expertise. Notice the expressions on the faces of those in attendance and who they are. If you’re a manager or lead a team, perhaps you’ll visualize coaching them with great success, seeing them nod their head in agreement and you asking powerful questions – really making a connection. You are the director of your life’s movie – it’s yours to create.
- Choose a new thought – You’ve been beating yourself about the head with the same old thoughts and it’s not working for you. Why not choose a different one that will get you to feel how you want to feel? Whatever you’re thinking, your feelings are directly affected. When you feel less than or down on yourself, your behavior mirrors those feelings and you don’t get the results you really want. So instead of thinking, “I don’t know enough to speak up in this meeting”, you might try thinking “I’m curious how my ideas will fit in here. I’m excited to share them!” Do you believe that new thought right now? No, and that’s OK. I’ve put a little twist on an old saying: Fake it until you believe it.
- Strike a pose – I’m not channeling my inner Madonna here (although I did go watch her “Vogue” video after writing this). I’m talking about standing in your office or living room and getting into your best Wonder Woman pose – fists on hips, feet hip-distance apart, chest out, shoulders back and a big smile. Now, hold that for 2 minutes. There is actual scientific proof that shows this actually increases your feeling of confidence. (For more information I highly recommend watching Amy Cuddy’s TED talk.) Feel your body’s energy increase – it’s almost like a zing of electricity from head-to-toe.
Change doesn’t happen by chance. It happens when you make the decision to be different.
Decide today.
Set your intention.
Visualize your new normal.
Create your new thought.
Strike your pose.
Keep sharing your brilliance with the world.
We need you.
I am here for you to help you make the changes you know you need to make. Click here and let’s hop on a call to chat about your situation and how we can work together.
Life is too short to continue on this path, wouldn’t you agree?