Is Conflict Holding Your Team Back?
Last week, we talked about the importance of trust in teams to ensure goals are met. We also touched on how the lack of trust can create conflict within the team, which creates a bigger problem and one that isn’t easily corrected.
When discussing Trust, team members need to be comfortable being vulnerable with each other about their weaknesses, mistakes, fears, and behaviors.
When teams have this type of trust, they can engage in passionate dialogue around issues and decisions that are key to the organization’s success.
And that’s where conflict can enter the picture.
There is a commonly held belief that conflict is a bad thing and if you believe that, I’m going to challenge you to consider this:
Conflict – done in a respectful way – is essential for teams to be effective, productive and successful.
It’s okay to disagree with, challenge, and question one another, all in the spirit of finding the best answers, discovering the truth, and making great decisions.
Conflict needs to become an expectation rather than the exception.
Let’s do a short True/False quiz:
- The most successful teams have very little conflict. (F)
- The best teams are made up of people who are comfortable passionately arguing for their ideas. (T)
- No matter what their cultural background and family norms, people generally feel the same way about conflict—they prefer to avoid it. (F)
- Understanding team members’ differing experiences with and feelings about conflict helps a team engage in unfiltered, productive debates. (T)
Bottom line: Productive conflict involves conflict around ideas rather than interpersonal issues.
In my group programs, I guide teams to become more aware of how they handle conflict – what behaviors each person falls back on and how others respond in a heightened situation. This self-reflection and understanding of how you personally are showing up is crucial to making the necessary changes to your teams’ collective behavior.
Now, you know that most teams don’t exhibit either all healthy or all unhealthy behaviors when it comes to conflict. They usually fall somewhere between those two extremes.
It’s important to identify those behaviors that are creating problems.
How do you react to conflict? What’s your go-to response?
Here is a sample list of unhealthy responses:
- Dig your heels in
- Become passive/aggressive
- Retreats/avoids conflict
- Glosses over problems
- Becomes overly dramatic
- Becomes aggressive
Take a moment to look at this list and see if you are showing up in any of these ways, or in ways you’ve identified that are not listed here.
Next, look at this sample list of healthy behaviors and choose 2-3 responses that you would like to incorporate into your daily life:
- Speak up about problems
- Encourage a calm demeanor
- Focus on logic and objectivity
- Show empathy
- Listen to others’ perspectives
- Express feelings
Now that you know how you behave and which healthy response you want to begin practicing, take a look at your team. What healthy and unhealthy behaviors are they exhibiting? The key, especially with unhealthy behaviors, is to determine how those behaviors impact others.
Then, ask yourself these questions:
What happens in our team when unhealthy behaviors are used?
What happens in our team when healthy behaviors are used?
What needs to change moving forward to get the team to be comfortable with productive and healthy conflict in meetings?
There is so much more to share with you on this topic, so if this is something that your team is suffering from, please do yourself a favor and schedule a call with me today so we can discuss your situation.
You can stop the pain and suffering that exists on a daily basis within your team. You can turn your team around and become a fully-functioning and successful unit.
Imagine how amazing that would feel!
Schedule a call with me today and learn how team coaching could be the solution you’ve been looking for.
Thanks so much for watching. I look forward to talking with you soon!