Let go or be dragged

I was given a cartoon with these words on it by my AA sponsor when I was having a difficult time letting go of the outcome of some issue in my life.  She has a great way of getting my attention with humor – something I use a lot in my life and when coaching my clients.

It got me thinking about what “letting go” really is all about. 

Am I holding on to stuff I don’t need anymore and doesn’t serve me?

Is it about detaching with love?

Is it a control thing? (yes, Barb, it usually is). Hmmmmmm.

Let’s look at this a little more.

Letting go.  When I first think of this, I think of falling, as in “I let go of the trapeze handle” and fall to my death. Well, maybe not so dramatic, but I do think of falling.  So why am I so opposed to falling?  I haven’t taken a really bad fall, other than the typical bike falls as a kid, so what’s up with that?

Maybe it’s not about actually falling down physically.

Maybe it’s about “falling down” emotionally.  Ok, now we might be getting somewhere.

Have you wondered how to let go?

In order to really let go of something you have to release it from your grasp, so to speak.  Holding on to something or someone so tightly takes an enormous amount of energy and is very draining.

Ask yourself why you feel you need to do this?

How is it enhancing your life or the life of the person to which you’re directing your attention?

What do you imagine you will lose if you release your “grip”?

Notice that we usually think of negative outcomes to letting go.  “Things won’t go the way I want them.” “He’ll leave me.”  “She won’t do it the way I want it done if I don’t keep on top of her.”  It’s a lot of responsibility and work to try to keep everyone and everything in a short leash.  I’m getting tired just thinking about it. The only healthy option is to release it.

Pry open your fingers.

Let

It

Go.

In releasing it, you need to trust that you will not fall.  Ah, the “T” word.  We control freaks have a hard time with that word.  Have you seen that trust exercise where one person stands with their back to a small group of people and they fall back, trusting that the group will catch them?  They can’t see what the outcome will be, they just fall back.

In life that’s called faith.  In order to trust, you need to have faith. Aye, the rub!  It all comes down to that, doesn’t it?  Faith doesn’t just happen overnight.  Think of it like a muscle that has to be strengthened daily by being used daily.  The more you “use” your faith, the stronger it will become.  Start out small and give yourself time.  This is big stuff and takes a lot of practice. Be patient with yourself. If you fall back, start again.

Here’s a great quote from Emmanuel Teney:

“As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.”

I would also add – to the great delight and benefit of others – especially those to whom your attention is directed!

So what are you willing to let go of? Let me know and keep me posted on how it’s going!