Show Your Appreciation – Make Your Words Count

Do you lead a team? Or perhaps you are on a team and aren’t feeling the love.

Maybe those around you aren’t speaking your language.

Last week I shared why employees leave their jobs and gave an overview of The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace.

This month, we’ll be taking a deeper look into each language and I’ll show you how implementing appreciation can increase your team’s engagement and retain top talent.

The five languages are:

• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Acts of Service
• Tangible Gifts
• Physical Touch

Studies have found that people have a primary and secondary language when it comes to appreciation in the workplace. That primary language communicates to us more deeply than others. While we will accept appreciation in all five languages, we will not feel truly valued unless the message is communicated through our primary language. When messages are repeatedly sent in ways outside of that language, the intent of the message misses the mark and loses the impact.

We all tend to communicate appreciation to others in the way that’s most meaningful to us – we speak our own language. However, if that person’s primary language isn’t the same, it will not be meaningful to them and that opportunity for connection or showing you value their work is lost.

So, it’s important to know how to use each language.

Today we’ll address Words of Affirmation. I know what you might be thinking. “Hey, I say thanks to my team all the time.” And that is a good place to start. I’m going to invite you to expand your appreciation vocabulary and take it to a deeper level.

There are many forms and variations of communicating appreciation through words. For example, you can praise someone for an achievement or accomplishment. And remember to be specific when you do this. Rather than say, “thanks for doing a good job”, you can say “I appreciate you coming in early to ensure we are ready for our meeting with the Board.”

See the difference? That blanket one-size-fits-all approach of “good job guys” just isn’t effective.

You can also use this language to affirm a positive character trait – self-discipline, honesty, integrity, patience, kindness. These should be highly valued and praised. Character looks beyond performance and focuses on the inner nature of a person. You can say, “Jake, I really appreciate knowing that you are a man of integrity. It gives me a great sense of security knowing I can trust you with our finances.”

Character has a longer-term impact on teams or organizations.

You can also praise people for their positive personality traits – optimistic, organized, intuitive, planner, spontaneous, logical – you get the idea.

You can say:

“One of the things I admire about you, Jessica, is that you’re always optimistic. When I get discouraged, I know I can count on you to give me a positive perspective. I appreciate that.”

These kinds of praise can be delivered in several ways:

• Personal, one-to-one
• Praise in front of others – small group of people, in a meeting
• Written affirmation
• Public affirmation – in the company spotlight, perhaps at an annual conference

So, there you have it. Almost half of employees have this as their primary language. If you’re not sure how to show appreciation, try words and notice what their reaction is.

I encourage you to coach your team on how to show appreciation to each other, so you create a culture of connection and support. Since the recent shift in the generational makeup of the workforce and the addition of younger workers, research has found that it is more important for these younger workers to receive appreciation from their colleagues, than from their supervisors. Creating a team culture of appreciation will pay dividends.

As a certified facilitator for the Motivating by Appreciation program, I help teams and organizations navigate the world of appreciation by offering assessments to determine which language each person values and how teams can implement the program to create a culture of positivity and increase engagement.

If you would like to hear more about this or other programs I offer, please reach out to me and we’ll connect.

Next week we’ll look at the language of Quality Time.

Thanks for watching and I’ll see you soon.