Who Do You Want To Be This Year? (Episode 86)
This time of year, we turn our attention to making goals and resolutions to be a better version of ourselves in the new year – and those are usually forgotten by mid-January.
Why not try something new?
What You’ll Learn:
- Why your goal-setting isn’t working.
- My 3-question exercise that will change the way you show up.
- Why knowing your desires (and who you want to be) is the key to creating your next phase.
- The benefits of taking time to discover your desires.
Listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcast app:
Make your 2024 the most meaningful year you’ve ever had. Schedule your Discovery Call with me today so I can help you discover what your true desires are and how you can make them a reality.
Who Do You Want To Be This Year? (Transcript)
You are listening to episode 86 of Your Next Phase Podcast. The one where I help you discover who you want to be in 2024, by sharing three questions that will change how you choose your goals for the new year.
Hey friends! Welcome to the Your Next Phase podcast. This episode is going live the week before we ring in another new year. If you celebrate one of the many holidays that happen in the month of December, I hope you felt the joy of the season.
This week I want to share with you a practice I’ve had for over a decade and how it helps me with creating goals for myself in the new year.
I don’t believe in resolutions because they never felt good. They were always about “shoulds” – I should exercise more, I should lose weight, I should drink less caffeine, I should work less – you know what I’m talking about, right?
Nowhere in typical New Year’s resolutions or goals for that matter is there any mention of your desires.
What I’m going to share is designed to open your mind to your desires. It’s designed to awaken you to the awareness that there really are possibilities for your life – and that you can actually create your world exactly the way you want it to be.
If you are feeling stuck or completely unaware of what you want – you can still do this. There are no right or wrong answers.
This is a place to begin to explore what you desire and help you decide who you want to be this year.
Who Do You Want To Be Exercise (aka Be, Do, Have Exercise)
Here are the steps to the Be Do Have exercise:
1. Set Dedicated Time
Set aside time when you absolutely won’t be distracted. This could be 2-hours on Saturday or ½ hour each day after work when the office is empty, and you can shut your door and find some peace.
It doesn’t matter if you do it all at once or if you like to do it in pieces so that you don’t feel so much pressure. The biggest thing is to write, so you’ll want to have paper and a pen to record your thoughts.
2. Sit Quietly for 5 Minutes
Before you begin, sit quietly for about five minutes. You can meditate, but you don’t have to.
Take some deep breaths – in through your nose and exhale through your mouth to relax your central nervous system (CNS).
Set an intention that this going to be a fun and expansive activity.
3. Create a Be-Do-Have Dreamscape.
At the top of the first page write the word “Be”. Leave enough pages to record all the thoughts that come to your mind. Then do the same with the words “Do” and “Have”, leaving enough space for those headings.
4. Answer These 3 Questions
Who or what do you want to BE?
This includes – how you feel each day, your purpose or mission, how you show up in life, your strongest traits, the kind of parent you are, the kind of partner you are, etc.
If there are traits that you already love about you, include those as well. And when you’re writing those down remember to say out loud, “I love that about me.”
Write them as “I am” statements.
For example: I am encouraging. I am confident. I know exactly who I am. I am wealthy. Now this one is not the same as saying you’re rich. Wealth encompasses so much more than just money.
The more detailed you can get, the better. Don’t forget to write what it feels like.
What do you want to DO?
This includes travel, working in the world, learning a language, projects to create, marriage or partnership, kids, playing the piano, etc. Write these in descriptive sentences or as a list.
Really let yourself explore the options. Don’t limit yourself in any way! Your brain is going to want to do that.
Your brain, your Derailers™ are going to jump in and try to rain on your parade with all kinds of reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t. Don’t let them. This is about your desires and there’s no right or wrong when it comes to desires.
What do you want to HAVE?
This can be anything from a house on the beach, to free time, to a yoga studio, to an amazing wardrobe, to a villa in Italy.
Let yourself dream BIG here. Lots of people get a little freaked out and feel greedy if they admit to wanting something they’ve been told is extravagant – like an expensive car. It doesn’t feel “noble”. But just open up to those “have” desires. Knowing what they are can guide you to the places where you resist or block your own success.
BE, DO, HAVE Dreamscape Example:
BE: I am a woman who creates deep connections with other brilliant soulful women all over the world. A woman who is open to receiving all the love, romance, financial abundance and adventure the universe has to offer.
DO: I travel through North America and Europe, exploring the beauty, culture and food while learning French and Italian, all while coaching women and leading international retreats so they can discover their next phase.
HAVE: I have adventures that bring romance, joy and excitement to my life.
6 Helpful Hints to Increase the Effectiveness of Your Be-Do-Have Dreamscape
1. Do it your way
There’s no right or wrong way to do this. You may want to keep it simple and write a list or you may be a person who gets inspired with long, descriptive paragraphs that include how it feels and what a typical day looks like.
Do whatever creates that feeling of excitement inside you and feels easy.
2. Get all the deets
You’ll want to get detailed. The more detailed you get the better.
So if you’re looking for a new job, describe it in detail.
- What will you be doing?
- Where will you do it?
- How much will you get paid?
- What’s your boss like?
- Do you have a boss?
- What kinds of decisions will you make?
Leave no stone unturned.
3. Get selfish – in a good way
Again, watch for your inner critical voice to show up and try to be a buzzkill, saying it’s selfish.
Remember what you’re told on an airplane before take-off – put your own oxygen mask on first.
When you’re living a happy, full, and complete life – you give others a gift. You show the world what’s possible. You get to be an example of what’s possible.
4. Categorize your life
Now – if this gets to be too overwhelming or if you’re like me and you need a system or a bit more organization, no worries.
Divide your life into segments:
- Career
- Relationships
- Family
- Money
- Spirituality
- Health
- Environment (home, car, location, etc.)
Write your Be, Do, Have Dreamscape for each segment of your life.
5. Allow yourself to dream as if you couldn’t fail
If you’re talking about living in Tuscany, then don’t let money be an issue. If you’re talking about money, then don’t make it about your job. “If I could not fail, and if I had no fear – here’s what I would want.”
6. If this scares you a little, you’re in good company
This may seem a little daunting at first but stick with it. This is such an important part of creating the kind of next phase that you’ve been dreaming of – perhaps for years.
I promise you that once you get started and you just let all those dreams come to the surface and flow out onto paper, it will become so fun and exciting. It will show you what’s possible.
I’m a firm believer that if you have a dream, it is possible for you to make it happen. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have had the dream in the first place.
Final Thoughts
So, who do you want to be this year? And if you’re feeling like a deer caught in headlights right now, that’s OK. So many of my clients didn’t know what they wanted, they never thought to ask themselves until I gave them this exercise. This will evolve over time, so let go of trying to get it right.
And if you’d like help with where to start and what you want, let’s connect. Schedule your complimentary Discovery Call with me today and let’s get your desire juices flowing for 2024.
I’m going to be taking a couple of weeks off to do my own inner journey and I have many ideas on what the next phase of 2024 will look like for me, this podcast and my business. Stay tuned for that announcement!
Happy New Year my friends. And until next time, remember:
I believe in you.