The Best Leaders Know the Power of Time Away
One of the things I love most about coaching people is that I get to help them see where even the smallest change in the choices they make can make a massive difference in how they think and feel. I get chills just thinking about it!
I had another opportunity a couple of weeks ago when I was coaching one of my clients, who is a COO for a major company. In a previous session, she had told me how burned out she felt and that she was really looking forward to going away with her husband for the weekend. He was going to be involved most of the weekend in other activities and she would have some much needed time alone to rest, relax and rejuvenate. She was so thirsty for it and knew this time to herself was way overdue.
So imagine my surprise when she told me in our next session that the weekend “just didn’t work out” and she hadn’t had her mini retreat. When I asked her why, she proceeded to tell me all kinds of ways other things got in the way. I was fascinated by the choices she made that guaranteed the one thing she knew she needed more than anything else – she didn’t get. She made a conscious choice not to take care of herself once again. This is a recurring pattern in her life – taking care of work, kids, parents, friends, husband – everyone but herself. Doing, doing, doing until there’s little left. When I asked her when she had rescheduled her getaway, she said she wasn’t sure when she could squeeze it in.
Does this sound like anyone you know? (maybe you?)
There are many ways to refresh and replenish that don’t require an out of town adventure. In fact, just a couple of hours of soul-caring can do wonders for our inner peace and create more clarity. So when you’re in need of a little R & R, here are a couple tips on how to create your own personal refuge:
Spa day:
When is the last time you treated yourself to a massage or facial or hot stone treatment? These kinds of experiences used to be considered a luxury, but in recent years we’ve become more in tune with the body-mind-spirit connection and how important it is to our overall wellbeing to care for and nurture the incredible frame that carries us each day. There are many, many options at your fingertips in terms of services offered. The massage business is booming and it seems there is a franchise in every strip mall across the country and pricing is very affordable. So whether you go to one of these or a health club or an actual spa, make sure you give yourself enough time for the treatment and plan to stick around for a cup of herbal tea or lemon water, so you can let the experience work its magic on you and your spirit. Too many of us spend a lovely 90 minutes getting all the kinks out, only to rush out the door – undoing all that de-stressing. Take the time to relax.
Morning Ritual:
Now if you don’t think you have time to take a few hours for yourself (I know, you need baby steps on this), then I have a couple of great ideas for you.
- Deep Breathing: You will be amazed at how taking just a couple of deep, cleansing breaths in and out, through your nose, can calm your body and bring peace to your cluttered mind. You can use it at home, in the office, in the car, while writing a contract or cooking dinner. You can access your inner calm in less than one minute. I learned about breathing in my yoga studies and started practicing mindful breath due to my own need to change the way I started my day. I used to open my eyes and my brain would start spinning on all my “shoulds” and “to dos” and I felt overwhelmed before my feet even hit the floor. So I created a morning ritual that ensures I start my day with clarity and calm – breathing is step one.
- Gratitude: If you don’t have a gratitude practice, I highly recommend starting one! Whether you run a list of things you’re grateful for in your head or write them in a dedicated journal, expressing gratitude on a regular basis is incredibly powerful and changes the way you view your life and the world around you. I recently read a wonderful little book called The Gratitude Jar (you can find it here) and met the author at a women’s conference I attended. While the notion of a gratitude jar wasn’t new to me, I loved the notion of making it a family affair. The idea is to take a small piece of paper and write what you’re grateful for on it, put it in the jar and share with the family why you chose it. Each day you choose something different and discuss it. After 30-days, notice how your mindset, relationships and life have changed for the better. The beauty is that you can tap into a feeling of gratitude whenever you feel the need, wherever you are.
I invite you to try one of these and give yourself the gift of relaxation and renewal.
Darling, stress is so last season.