Find Your Voice. Unleash Your Power.
I grew up in a household that was very patriarchal – my dad was the head and chief rule-maker for sure. There was an unwritten rule that parents were always right and children didn’t really get a say. Now, you can imagine how well I fit into that scenario. I have a lot to say, if you haven’t noticed, so I challenged that expectation as much as I could as a child.
I remember one particular time when I was 11. My dad and I were disagreeing about something. He felt my tone was disrespectful and asked his favorite rhetorical question, “Who do you think you’re talking to!” Normally, that was my cue to stop talking and be quiet. It was his way of saying I’m getting dangerously close to crossing his line of what respect looked like.
Well, I didn’t take my cue – I continued.
Somewhere deep inside I felt the issue was just too important for me to keep quiet, so I pressed on, pleading my case. In that moment, I remember feeling a release, a freedom I’d never felt before.
I had a brain and I was smart.
I had things to say.
It was the first time I found the confidence to use my voice in a situation that was uncomfortable and where the balance of power was not in my favor.
Have you ever experienced a time when you lacked the confidence and inner strength to use your voice?
This comes up with my clients in my executive coaching practice – a lot.
Many of them have the same issues in common – lack of confidence in using their voice in certain situations. It seems to afflict women more than men, especially when they are dealing with colleagues they deem at a higher level and therefore smarter:
“I struggle with confidence. Does my contribution have value in the midst of so many other voices who might have more education or experience than me?”
Notice how she questions her expertise and value based on comparing herself to others in the room. She diminishes her experiences, knowledge, skills…As she’s speaking, I can visualize her backing away, out the door of the room, can’t you?
When you compare yourself to someone else, you will lose every time. When you compare your insides to someone else’s outsides or what you believe to be true about them, you will always fall short of the impossible bar you have set.
Thinking back on that 11-year-old girl, I realize how much I’ve grown and learned over the years. I’ve certainly experienced the pain of that growth and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
That pain was the catalyst for my evolution. That pain caused me to step into my power and use my voice where I felt it was necessary and important.
You don’t have to live in that painful space.
You can learn the tools you need to own your talents and expertise and gain confidence in the process. By sharing your thoughts and using your voice, you give others permission to do the same.
The world needs your expertise, your strategic mind and your intuitive senses.
What do you say?
Are you ready to use your voice and find your power?
Let’s do this.