Are You a Helicopter or a Lighthouse?

 

Do you manage a team or would like to?

Are you an executive in your organization?

Or, are you the leader of your own life?

How you lead has a direct impact on the performance of your employees and the financial success of the company, not to mention the joy you feel living a fulfilled life.

Do you know your leadership style and how effective it is for your team and overall goals?

I think I may know the answer to that.

You don’t have time to really stop and take notice. You’re too busy being interrupted by emails and phone calls and people wanting you to put out their fires. When you get home the last thing you have energy for is something that requires introspection. (After all, dinner needs to be made and the kids need help with their homework…).

I completely understand. There are scads of books, blogs and articles written on differing leadership styles – what works, what doesn’t – that it’s almost mind boggling.

I’m big on keeping things simple and realized there are two kinds of leadership styles: Helicopter and Lighthouse – and I have my kids to thank for it.

Let me explain.

For the last 23+ years, I have been a mom to three of the most amazing kids (yes, I’m completely biased). The only job I ever wanted in the world was to become a mother and I continue to be grateful for that experience daily.

I wanted to stay home with my kids and needed to have a job, so I built three different businesses while juggling the demands of motherhood. It wasn’t easy and there were many nights that I felt exhausted, wondering if I’d done enough or taught them everything they needed to learn. (Note-you can never teach them everything).

With three little ones running around I found myself hovering over them to make sure they were safe, healthy and thriving – much like a helicopter. (Perhaps you’ve heard the term “helicopter parents”). The more I hovered, the more dependent they became. They would wait for me to do things for them, rather than try on their own. They would defer to my judgement, rather than trust their own instincts.

While I thought I was being a good mother, I soon realized that I was a bit misguided. You see, I wanted to raise them to be independent, strong and confident. In reality, I wasn’t empowering them to discover who they are and what their thoughts, desires and dreams are.

So, I consciously pulled back bit by bit as they aged, allowing the space for them to make their own choices (making sure they were safe, etc.), discover their own opinions and create their own visions for what their life might look like.

The helicopter still hovered – I’m not gonna lie – just at a much higher altitude.

Now, I find myself becoming an empty-nester all at once. All three of my kids are leaving for college within the same week and I find myself needing to once again make a shift. I asked myself, as a mother, what kind of legacy did I want to leave?

It was very clear to me.

No more hovering. The helicopter has landed.

I am now a lighthouse.

Solid, grounded, a beacon of light for those who need to find “home” again – whenever they want. Empowering others to follow their instincts and intuition, knowing that guidance and support is always available – if needed. Love and acceptance is guaranteed.

Feels so weird to start to make that shift and yet it feels very right at this point in my life.

The ability to make this change is very powerful for me and for my young adult children. It says to them, “I trust you and I’m here if you need support or someone to listen.” Being a parent is less about telling and more about leading by example, showing them that changing course or your mind is OK to do if the situation warrants it.

Managing people is a lot like parenting if you look at it through a different lens. No one wants their boss to be hovering over them to make sure they do their job. Be honest – you wouldn’t like that either. If you see yourself as the pilot of a helicopter, I invite you to look out the window and see what’s on the horizon. It’s OK to decide to change directions, land and build a foundation of guidance for others to use to learn and grow.

That’s the beauty of leadership style.

It’s a choice and one that can be changed when necessary.

So, will you be a helicopter, hovering around your team to make sure they do it “right”, taking over projects because it’s “just easier to do it yourself”, creating a team that is dependent on you?

Or, will you be a lighthouse, empowering your team to utilize their unique skills and talents to reach the goals in the way that works for them – available for guidance and support when they need you?

You have a choice.

What will your leadership legacy be?

Do you need help finding your leadership style? Not sure where to start? I can help! Book your complimentary 30-minute strategy session with me and let’s see if working together is your next right step.