Episode 55: The Discomfort And Beauty Of Growth
Growth can be a positive result of taking action, yet it is often associated with difficulty and discomfort, and rightly so. The beauty of growth is that it forces you to get out from behind the safety of your comfort zone. It makes you vulnerable to criticism or rejection from the outside world.
There’s a lot of discomfort in staying stuck. You have a deep knowing that you could be doing things differently, having new experiences, going after what you really want – but you hide behind the fear of discomfort so you miss out on a lot of living.
Whenever we want to achieve big goals we are going to have to go against our natural programming to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and save energy.
This week’s episode speaks truth to the beauty of growth.
What You’ll Learn:
- Why March is so special to me.
- Why your definition of growth may not be useful.
- Why discomfort isn’t a bad thing.
- What seeds have to teach us.
- Bonus: Growth assignment.
Here’s to the deliciousness of growing and stretching into who you are meant to be.
Listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcast app:
If you are really committed to growth, then schedule a Discovery Call with me today and let’s start planning your spring garden so you can reap what you sow in a few short months.
Episode 55: The Discomfort And Beauty Of Growth (Transcript)
It’s March – can you believe it? This is episode 55 and I completely blew by my 1 year mark at episode 52! I’ve been doing this podcast for over a year and I’m so very proud of it.
I love being with you each week and I love the emails you send me – I read them all. I’d love to know what you’re struggling with or a topic you’d like me to cover here, so shoot me an email and let me know, OK?
I’m so ready for Spring right now because I live in Minnesota. I know green grass is still another month or so away. But it is coming, I know it.
I know some of you listeners are in Europe and some are in Australia where it’s actually summer there now, right? You’re probably at the beaches enjoying your summer vacations. Send some of that warm air my way, would you please?
This month I am taking my family north for a few nights to an Airbnb that we’ve stayed in before. It’s nestled in the woods and we can see Lake Superior from the windows. We can hear the wolves howling at night, too. It’s so fun. I hope we can see the Northern Lights this year. That would be amazing!
Celebrating My Growth in March
March is also a very special month for me and I look forward to it every year. It’s the month I celebrate the beginning of a new way of living.
I have been enjoying sober living for 20 years and I am so very grateful.
It wasn’t an easy road at first, although I know I made it look easy to the outside world. Women are good at doing that, right? We tackle very difficult things and don’t let on that we’re struggling. That’s why it took me a few years to realize that I needed help and to ask for it.
Now, being the overachiever that I am, I went straight to the source – the Divine Source that is. I knew I needed to shed this old pattern of thinking and behaving, and I knew I couldn’t do it by myself. Believe me, I tried.
This was one of those growth opportunities you hear about. I mean Growth with a capital G. I knew it was going to be hard and feel incredibly uncomfortable – and I knew I could do hard things, so I surrendered.
What comes To Mind When You Think Of The Word ‘Growth’?
Growth.
When you think of that term, what comes to mind?
Personal growth? Leadership growth? Hard work and toil?
Growth can be a positive result of taking action, yet it is often associated with difficulty and discomfort, and rightly so.
Growth forces you to get out from behind the safety of your comfort zone.
It makes you vulnerable to criticism or rejection from the outside world.
Avoiding Growth Due To Discomfort
You might avoid going after that next level at work because it will require you to grow beyond where you are right now and that feels uncomfortable.
You might lose interest in building a new habit because you don’t feel comfortable making the changes necessary to create it.
So, year after year you put your wants on the back burner because you believe the discomfort of growth is more than you can handle. And I bet you “should” all over yourself, too. I’m a pro at this.
I had many years of practice shoulding on myself. Taking action from a place of “should” never feels great, plus it’s a way to stay stuck in old patterns.
If you’ve experienced this you are definitely not alone and you’re letting your ego self run the show. That’s not who you want to make choices for you because more often than not, your ego will take the safe route.
“Growth and comfort do not coexist”
Ginny Rometty
Discomfort Lyes in Staying Stuck Too
Here’s the truth about staying where you are:
There’s a lot of discomfort in staying stuck, too.
You have a deep knowing that you could be doing things differently, having new experiences, going after what you really want – but you hide behind the fear of discomfort so you miss out on a lot of living.
Taking Action Is Uncomfortable But Leads To Beautiful Growth
Whenever we want to achieve big goals we are going to have to go against our natural programming to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and save energy.
Some of my clients begin to work with me and tell me they daydream about a new job in a completely different field or leaving their partner or amazing adventures. However, they never take action because they know it would be too uncomfortable to create those things.
- What would people think?
- How would I make sure I don’t make a mistake?
- What if I can’t do it?
There’s a loss of what might have been when you stay in resistance to feeling the discomfort that comes with growth. There’s a loss of who you could become if you truly believed in yourself.
However, it doesn’t have to be that way. Discomfort doesn’t have to be a negative thing.
Think about it:
- You went on that first date with the person you’d been hoping would call, you felt discomfort and maybe you were a little nervous or anxious – and you laughed more than you had in a long time.
- When you threw your hat in the ring for that big promotion, you felt discomfort – and you nailed the interview.
- You dealt with conflict between members of your team, you felt discomfort – and you set expectations and led with authenticity and authority.
Growth can be a beautiful thing.
Let’s Change Some Terminology In Order To Grow
When I get a new client and we begin our sessions, the common name for integrating coaching ideas is “work”.
They tell me they want to “do the work” needed to get to the next level of leadership or “do the work” to build their confidence for a promotion or “do the work” to deal with a difficult team member.
“Do the work” even sounds hard, right?
So I let them know for our purposes we will not be using the word “work” and instead use the term “growth”.
When I give them something to ponder or practice, I call it their growth assignment. It sounds lighter, doesn’t it? It sounds inviting, interesting and something that is challenging but not impossible.
When we have a dream, it means we are able to make it come to fruition. If we couldn’t, we wouldn’t be able to imagine it in the first place.
We figure out the how, but we already have the vision. That’s why visualization is so powerful. We visualize ourselves doing or having or being what we dream of.
An Example of Growth
I offer you this. Since it’s almost Spring, let’s talk plants!
Let’s say you want to start a garden from scratch as my brother does. He has a small greenhouse in his backyard and plants flats of flowers and veggies from seeds. He tills the soil, plants the seeds, and gives them plenty of water and sunlight. And in a few weeks, voila – he has plants!
The seed that is planted doesn’t resist the discomfort of growth, right? It gets planted, watered and the sun warms the dirt surrounding it.
Does it magically turn into a beautiful flower? Nope.
- First, the seed has to break open to let the sprout escape and that’s not real easy to do.
- Then, the sprout – who is in the dark remember and has no idea where to go or how to get there – must push its way through the dirt to break free, trusting it is going where it needs to.
- Once it surfaces, it stretches up to catch every ray of sunlight in order to continue to grow until it reaches its full potential.
Your dream is the seed, and you are the soil.
You have to have a good foundation, a solid base to begin this journey of growth.
Your determination is the nutrient that will nourish you along the way.
Your belief in yourself is the sun that keeps you going even when clouds of doubt or fear move in.
But first, you have to stop resisting and let go of all that worry. The pain of staying where you are has to be greater than the pain of making the changes you want to make.
What might be possible for you if you did?
Make The Shift From I Should To I Will
You can make the shift from “I should…” to “I will…” by allowing the discomfort of growth to ride shotgun with you.
It’s just a feeling and you can choose to feel it and process it for a minute or two – which is how long it actually takes to process an emotion.
Shift your feelings by changing your thinking. Remember that. The only reason you’re afraid to grow is because of the story your brain has been telling your for a long time.
- What if discomfort is the price to anything you want?
- Is it a price you are willing to pay?
Your Growth Assignment
Write in your journal about all the dreams you have that you haven’t done anything about.
- List them all.
- Then look at each dream and choose one that would cause the least amount of discomfort.
- Now begin visualizing how it will feel when you realize it. You don’t have to know how you’re going to do it. You just get to see yourself as already having accomplished it and bask in that feeling.
- Then take action from that state of mind. That’s how you’ll begin to shift out of the pattern of avoiding discomfort and strengthen that growth muscle.
Please let me know what you choose to do. Send me an email at hello@barbarachurchill.com and I’ll be cheering you on!
And if you are really committed to growth, then schedule a Discovery Call with me today and let’s start planning your spring garden so you can reap what you sow in a few short months. Here’s to the deliciousness of growing and stretching into who you are meant to be.
Until next time, remember:
I believe in you!