Episode 20: Independence, Freedom & You - Babs Churchill Coaching & Consulting

July is the month we celebrate our independence in the United States. It’s a big deal across the country and people gather to celebrate with food, friends and fireworks.

All month we’ll be talking about independence and freedom. What do they mean to you as a woman? A leader? A human?

What You’ll Learn:

The definition of independence and how you can interpret that.
The messages that have kept you from being free.
What kinds of strength it really takes to be independent.
Questions to ask yourself.

Listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcast app:

Apple | Spotify | Audible

Episode 20: Independence, Freedom & You (Transcript)

4^th of July weekend is all about independence and freedom and stories surface about people who’ve made the ultimate sacrifice to ensure our freedom or those who lived to tell their own stories.

I am very drawn to them because I think our country has lost touch with the human factor of defending those freedoms around the world. We can turn on our TVs or look at our phones and “watch the war” for a few minutes, then change the channel when we’ve had enough.

We forget the hundreds of thousands of men and women who lost their lives over the course of our 246 years as a nation. We take our freedom for granted and assume it will always exist.

I, therefore, think this is the perfect time to talk about independence and freedom, so this is the theme for my podcasts in July. We’re focusing on the independence you feel and what that means for you as an individual, a leader, and a woman.

You know I love Google, so I asked it for the definition of independent and aside from the political leanings of the word, I found some interesting phrases. Let’s look at each one:

Capable of thinking or acting for oneself. Free from outside control; not depending on another’s authority.

While this might sound pretty elementary, it’s really not.

Think about all the years you’ve been told what to think and how to behave. It starts when we’re children, right?

We are molded by our parents and grandparents, then our schools and our society.

We are told what is right and what is wrong.

As women, we are told what the right way is to behave and what is the wrong or unacceptable way.

Don’t be loud.
Don’t be bossy.
Don’t show off or brag.
Be thin and sexy.

Take care of everyone and make sure they’re happy.

Rarely if ever do we hear:

Speak your mind.
Take the lead.
Celebrate your accomplishments.
You are beautiful because you’re you.
Care for your physical, emotional, and spiritual health first.

Just how different would we be as women if we were taught those things?

You ARE capable of thinking and acting for yourself, but do you believe that in all situations?

Probably not.

You may look to others at work who you deem have more experience or know more than you and defer to them for decisions or ask them what you should do.

You may poll your team to see what they think or ask colleagues outside your company for their advice.

I’m going to challenge you to look at yourself differently

Think about all the times you showed up and handled what was thrown your way.

Make a list of…

All the situations
Issues
Celebrations
Life experiences

Think about those times when you weren’t sure what to do and you decided and did it. Or when you felt pulled in one direction and just went with it, without any proof it was the way to go.

You’ve been around for a long time so your list could be quite long.

There’s another piece to the definition mentioned earlier: Not depending on something else for strength or effectiveness.

There’s physical strength and there’s mental strength. Our society applauds both but with limitations.

Physical strength looks a certain way, right. Thin, sleek toned muscles for women, bulky ones for men. Lifting heavy weights or scaling a mountain – it’s about looks and endurance.

Physical strength is also about resilience

How many cancer survivors are there in the world?

My best friend lived with Stage IV non-smokers lung cancer 4 years longer than the doctors told her she would. Her tiny body was mighty and even her heart-that had 5 stents in it- never gave out. The miracle that is the human body – it’s mind-boggling sometimes.

Trust your body

Our bodies are so wise. They tell us things we need to know.

We get a feeling – usually in our stomach or gut – that tells us something is amiss, or something is very right.

We go with it without really knowing why, and it works out beautifully.

You say things like, “it just felt like the right thing to do.” Or “I feel out of alignment. Something’s not right here.”

That’s using your gut brain. Did you know your gut has a “brain”?

The gut-brain connection consists of bidirectional communication between the central and the enteric nervous system, linking the emotional and cognitive centers of the brain with peripheral intestinal functions. The Enteric Nervous System relies on the same type of neurons and neurotransmitters that are found in the central nervous system. The ENS is made up of two thin layers that contain more than 100 million nerve cells. These cells line your gastrointestinal tract – aka your gut.

Now there’s way more to this, but that’s about as science-y as I’m going to get. The rest of way above my pay grade.

Check-in with your brain and body

So when talking about independence and freedom you need to check in with both your brain and your body.

We are so often all up in our heads, and we forget that our bodies have enormous amounts of wisdom.

The next time you’re faced with a decision or a situation and you don’t know what to do, ask yourself these questions:

What feels like freedom? Where do I feel it?
What feels like truth? Where do I feel it?
What feels like resistance? Where do I feel it?
What feels false? Where do I feel it?

Begin asking your body what it wants, what it feels. Tap into her and ask her what she wants you to know.

Mental strength can be about intelligence and strategy, but it can also be about resilience and spirit.

Trust your own brain to have the answer

How many times have you heard about someone who faced insurmountable odds and beat them? They didn’t ask for help or defer to a colleague. They knew to their core that they would prevail.

Their belief was unwavering.

No matter what was thrown at them, they never gave up.

Think about these examples:

The Women Suffragettes and the right to vote in the US.
Stephanie Louise Kwolek who invented Kevlar at Dupont.
Sherry Chessin who warned the world about thalidomide, a drug that caused severe birth defects, lost her job as a children’s TV show host and her privacy when she decided to have an abortion after taking the drug. This was pre-Roe v. Wade.
Malala Yousafzai who defied her government and demanded an education.

There are too many women to list and they all have one thing in common – they didn’t rely on others.

They had unwavering belief and determination in their cause – and themselves.

Ask yourself:

How am I like these women?
What do I see in them, that I see in myself, too?

Ponder these questions this week – with no filter – and see what comes up for you.

Independence and freedom

The theme for this month. Think about them and what they mean to you individually.

You have brains and intuition. You have power beyond your wildest imaginings.

Next Steps

If you’re ready to use all that and see what it can do, you’re going to need support.

That’s what I do for my clients and that’s what I can do for you.

It’s time for you to declare your independence from fear and doubt. From perfection and people-pleasing. It’s time to free yourself from old beliefs that keep you small.

I’m ready to partner with you.

SCHEDULE A CALL and let’s chat.

Until next time, remember:

I believe in you!

More Episodes in the Freedom & Independence Series:

You’re a go-getter and know what you want, yet you just can’t seem to get past your self-sabotaging behaviors. I get it. Stop trying to go it alone. It’s time for us to team up. Schedule a Discovery Call with me today and we’ll talk about all the things – and how partnering is THE best decision you’ll ever make!