Episode 35: Get Curious About Play - Babs Churchill Coaching & Consulting

It’s easy to think we know what it means to play. I mean, how complicated can it be? You just go outside and play, right?

Not so fast.

Adults have become so serious about life, work way too many hours each week – more than is considered the norm – and aren’t taking care of their physical, emotional and mental health. The American College of Cardiology published an article on the steep rise of cardiovascular disease among Americans between 2025-2060. It is sobering to say the least.

There’s no better reason than to add play into your life sooner than later. I’m on a mission to help you do just that. All month long, I’m talking about play and this week I’m getting curious about it.

What You’ll Learn:

The 6 stages of play.
Why being human means, you need to play.
How play can benefit your sex life.
Why curiosity is the key to a better life.

Listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcast app:

Apple | Spotify | Audible

I know you think you don’t have time for something frivolous but believe me when I say the quality of your life depends on it. I am here to help. Schedule a call with me today and let’s talk about how you can insert some fun into that overly full calendar of yours. This call will truly change your life.

Episode 35: Get Curious About Play (Transcript)

Great to be here with you once again. It is fall – I mean we’re really in the fall season now. Here in MN I am waking up to crisp mornings and hear the crunch of leaves under my feet as I walk my darling Miss Daisy.

The trees are nearing the end of their spectacular show of golds, reds and oranges and my neighbors yards are blanketed with their castoffs.

I’ve been spending time with my 91-year-old dad and one of the things he likes to do is play cards. I marvel at how he still remembers the strategy and rules while struggling with his diminished mental capacity.

Just this last weekend we played Hearts – a game that’s all strategy. I watched him take all the hearts hand after hand, no matter how hard my hubby and I tried to not let that happen. Lots of laughter and joking around our table.

We played for 3 hours – time just flew by. It was wonderful.

We played.

All month I’ve been talking about play, so make sure to catch the other episodes…

There’s lots of fun ideas for you in both.

The Power of Play

I know the power of play firsthand. I also know how it impacts the leaders I coach. I assign play to my clients when we’re coaching together, particularly when they are feeling stuck.

I once read this quote:

Play is the highest form of research. – Albert Einstein

I’ve been told that experimenting, trying new things is play.

I’ve been told doing what you love is play.

I got curious and wanted to know more.

What is play anyway?

One definition I found is…

“Any joyful act where you forget about time, where there is no purpose/result, where you are entirely enveloped in the process.”

I might say it is when you’re in your flow state, your zone of genius. That sounds fun, right?

So, any fun, joyful moment where you forget about time is considered play.

This could be everything from…

Riding a bike
Getting lost in a good book
Building blocks with your grandbaby
Challenging your significant other to a game of checkers
Making something with a crafting kit.

Think for a moment.

When was the last time this happened to you?

What were you doing?

How did that feel to look up and see that 2-3 hours had gone by?

Notice this is not the same thing as binging Netflix or scrolling social media. That’s zoning out, not your zone of genius.

Play Promotes Learning

We continue to learn throughout our lives and play promotes learning. Did you know there’s an actual museum all about play? What?!

It’s the Strong National Museum of Play and it’s located in Rochester, New York. You know I’m putting that on my list of must-see places.

They say most people go through a six-step process as they play. I don’t think everyone does this, but I do think it’s useful to think of play in this way.

The 6 Steps of Play

Anticipation:

Waiting with expectation, wondering what will happen, curiosity, a little anxiety, perhaps because there is a slight uncertainty or risk involved (will I hit the baseball and get to first base?), although the risk can’t be so great that it overwhelms the fun.

Next up…

Surprise:

The unexpected, a discovery, a new sensation or idea, or shifting perspective.

This produces…

Pleasure:

A good feeling, like the pleasure we feel at the unexpected twist in the punch line of a good joke.

Next we have…

Understanding:

The acquisition of new knowledge, a blending of distinct and separate concepts, an incorporation of ideas that were previously foreign.

Which leads to…

Strength:

The mastery that comes from constructive experience and understanding, the empowerment of coming through a scary experience unscathed, of knowing more about how the world works.

Ultimately, this results in…

Poise:

Grace, contentment, composure, and a sense of balance in life.

Whew – isn’t that amazing! This process is presented in a wheel-type diagram, so the process starts all over again.

I never knew there was so much to play. I just knew it was fun and felt good.

Play is a form of bonding

Think about that.

When we play with others, we connect with them.

Example:

Let’s say you’re doing improv.

You take your cues from that person. You have to say, “yes, and…” because if you don’t the improv dies. You have to buy into whatever the person is serving up.

So if you say there’s a skunk in the back of the pretend car you are driving, make a face and ask your improv partner is she smells that, she needs to say yes and add to it.

Can you imagine what would happen if she said, “I don’t see a skunk and I don’t smell anything. We’re not in a real car.”

Talk about killing the vibe.

Play creates a bonding experience. Think of group sports. Notice how the teams bond with each other. Notice how they celebrate when one person scores or makes a tackle or blocks a goal.

Humans are a social species, and we need connection to survive.

Play teaches you to be present

Have you ever found yourself in the midst of having fun, playing a game and suddenly you were worrying about something?

Nope.

That’s because your brain is engaged in what you’re doing at that moment. You’re completely present.

That’s a rare thing.

Think about it.

Alternatively…

When you’re streaming a movie or listening to music, sometimes your brain wanders off and pretty soon you find yourself thinking about work or family issues or something else that causes you to worry.

When you’re making dinner, doing laundry, baking cookies with your kids, making the bed, getting a pedicure – your brain can switch into future thinking.

That’s what worry is. Thinking about something in the future that hasn’t happened and getting upset about it. It’s really a big waste of time – and we all do it from time to time.

Play holds your attention like nothing else

Not even sex.

Be honest. You’ve caught yourself thinking about the menu for your next dinner party or that email you forgot to send – in the middle of foreplay. Women do it all the time. We don’t allow ourselves to be completely present to the pleasure we are experiencing. There are so many layers to this…

But that is for another podcast.

Here’s my ask for you: Get Curious About Play

Schedule play into your week.
Notice how you feel when you are doing different things. Do you feel the same when you are painting a clay pot as you do when you are playing pickleball? What’s different? Do you enjoy one over the other? Why?

Get out there and play. Be silly. Get curious. Be present.

Play invigorates the soul.

Okay my beautifuls, until next time remember:

I believe in you.