Parent & Teacher & Leader-Oh My!

In these uncertain times, a lot is being asked of all of us. If you work and have kids, you are now expected to work from home as if nothing has changed; become your kids’ teacher and have them learn and do homework as if nothing has changed, and parent your kids and spend quality time with them – again as if nothing has changed.

How to do all that perfectly?

You don’t.

We set our expectations so high, they aren’t attainable. We expect that we “should” know how to do all that is required of us right now, when the reality is, we’ve NEVER done any of this before. So why are we expecting ourselves to know how?

Here are 4 tips to keeping your sanity while juggling these job titles:

Reduce Expectations: We think we need to be as productive now as we were when we went into an office, but the reality is no one is doing that. My coaching clients are trying to be more efficient so they can get more done. That only produces more stress because the environment you’re in has changed – but expectations haven’t.

Focus on being more effective rather than efficient. Prioritize your daily to dos by taking the last 10 minutes of your workday to make a list of your 3 top priorities for the next day.

This also goes for your kids and their studies. It’s hard enough to stay focused while in school and now we think our kids should be able to focus when they are home with all the distractions of their stuff around them. Adjust the goals. We’re going for comprehension and completion – not perfection.

Involve the whole family: This is the perfect time to involve your entire family in setting expectations and ground rules for this new way of living. Kids are very perceptive, and they know when Mom and Dad are stressed out. Make sure you let them know it’s not about THEM. Kids have a way of thinking they’ve done something wrong when parents aren’t clear on what’s happening. They can feel the energy shifts but can’t tell why.

Schedule regular family meetings and cover the following: how is everyone doing? Allow each person to share their thoughts and feelings and let them know that you are there for them. You can also share your feelings being mindful not to overwhelm them with your own worries. Remember, you are their rock. Ask how each of them sees their role in helping the family. Kids want to help. It makes them feel good. Have everyone pitch in with the chores that need doing – dishes, clearing the table, making dinner, feeding the dog, making beds, etc. Everyone needs to pitch in.

Set Boundaries: Work – set boundaries with your colleagues and/or team. Set times during the day that you will check your email and voicemail and let them know that. Remind them that everyone is working in a new environment and we all need to be patient with interruptions, etc. Set accountability boundaries as well. The work still needs to get done. Parenting – you will need to continue to parent during this time. Kids need structure and rules to feel safe and secure. Just because we’re all at home doesn’t mean the rules go out the window. Teaching – let your kids know you are not a teacher and are doing your best to help out. Ask them to be resourceful and reach out to a classmate or the teacher for help. Create an atmosphere of responsibility and they will rise to the occasion.

Have Fun: We are bombarded with COVID-19 24/7 and need to remember that a large way to keep our sanity and reduce stress is to add some fun and silliness to each day. Grab a bucket of colorful chalk and take the family out to beautify the driveway and sidewalks. Paint rocks with a message of hope and put them in your yard for all to see. Get out the jump ropes, basketballs and hula hoops. Play charades. Watch a funny movie. Order a paint-by-numbers set.

The bottom line is this: We don’t know when this new normal will change. This is the perfect time to create what your new normal looks like and thrive doing it.

Barbara Churchill is a leadership and confidence coach and is offering TCL viewers 50% off an opportunity to work with her in a virtual group format. For more information contact her at barbara@barbarachurchill.com