Self-Doubt Got You? Remember These 5 Tips
I was just at a conference in Las Vegas with almost 200 of my colleagues – smart, savvy and successful business owners – who came together to learn how to grow their businesses. Now, I’m talking about people who are running multiple six and seven figure businesses – so the knowledge and results speak for themselves.
Pretty impressive, right?
What struck me is that many of the off-the-record conversations I had with my fellow attendees centered around a lack of confidence in a particular area or skillset they thought they didn’t possess. Here we all were in a room filled with hugely successful consultants and coaches and once again, that pesky Inner Critic voice was trying to take the stage.
Isn’t it strange that the basic life skills training we get like budgeting or cooking or riding a bike doesn’t address one of the largest issues that we face every day? Managing our minds – the thoughts, particularly negative ones that invade our brains on a daily basis – which holds us back from reaching the goals we’ve set for ourselves.
In the work I do with leaders, we dive in to the darker, cobwebbed corners of their minds to shine a light on what’s really going on in there and decide what to keep and what to discard. My personal mantra is one I share with my clients – Just because you think it, doesn’t make it true.
Do you listen to that critical voice in your head that says you can’t or shouldn’t?
We all have it.
The key is to recognize it when it shows up.
5 Easy Ways to Identify Your Inner Critic
- Loud, cruel inner critics are more common than you think. Don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides. You really aren’t alone in struggling with a rough inner critic.
- You’d think that the more successful you are, the less you’ll hear from your inner critic. Not so according to one recent study. The KPMG Women’s Leadership Report, found that while 55% of professional women did not feel confident in their job, that number declined only slightly – to 45% – among executive women in the same field. This means it’s not an effective strategy to try to avoid those thoughts or try to “out think” that critical voice. Instead, we need tools to quiet the critic, which is what I provide in my coaching programs and retreats.
- Sometimes we assume that if we are feeling a lot of self-doubt about something, that means it’s the wrong path or type of work for us. It must be some sort of sign, right? Wrong! The inner critic has a habit of showing up when we are heading in the right direction. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve has my own critical voice show up when I’m on fire and stretching myself to a place I’ve not gone. Pay attention to the next time you find yourself sharing a personal perspective or taking a risk in being more vulnerable. What is your inner critic telling you?
- Toning down your inner critic doesn’t mean you stop looking at yourself realistically. There are defined ways you can distinguish between the irrational inner critic from solid realistic thinking of your inner wise self. A fast and easy way to check in is to ask yourself, “Is the self-criticism caught in the spin cycle of negative thoughts or is it focused on curiosity about the issue and finding a solution?
- Avoid engaging. Choosing to do battle with your inner critic will not work to squash that nasty messaging – quite the opposite – it will fuel it. You need other tools, beginning with simply noticing when your inner critic is speaking up – being aware of when it’s showing up and why.
I know there is someone in your life who would benefit from watching this – so please share it with them. They might be struggling right now and this could be the doorway leading them out.
Where are you holding yourself back by believing what your inner critic has to say? I’d love to help! Let’s hop on a call and chat about what’s going on with you and how I might help. That’s why I’m here – to help you become the best you possible!