Sometimes, you need to be the disruptor

Growing up I was pretty much a rule follower.

I’m the youngest of my siblings and watched my older sister resist the rules my parents created and I knew I didn’t want any part of that.

Year after year I did what I was told – got good grades, was polite, didn’t talk back – much.

Halfway through my junior year of high school something inside me began to stir.

I could feel the shift of wanting to speak my own thoughts and do what I thought I should do and if it wasn’t popular, so what.

That was the start of me becoming a disrupter and beginning to trust my inner wise self.

It wasn’t always a popular thing to do for sure. Just ask my dad.

I knew it was necessary for my independence, my growth, my freedom.

I didn’t do it in loud ways – well not often anyway.

I spoke up in my own way, authentically me.

Pleaser wasn’t one of my Derailers, but if it’s one of yours keep reading.

Sometimes you have to make some noise.

Sometimes it’s required for you to step out of yourself and be the disruptor.

One of my clients is dealing with this right now. She’s an amazing leader who has been promoted to a new role in a new department she doesn’t know much about. The company has a mostly male leadership team and the majority of them have been with the company for many years. She often hears, “That’s not how we do things around here” or “We’ve always done it that way.”

Well, that’s fine if you want to get what you’ve always gotten.

It’s also a way to keep women in their place. Don’t be rude. Don’t offend.

As women, we are taught we need to play along with the rules men have set up. We’ve been groomed to believe that rocking the boat is a bad thing.

We’ve been told that we won’t be able to get ahead if we continue to be “brutally honest.” So, we’ve learned to “compromise.”

We have learned to say what is expected of us and not to offend.

That’s total BS.

When you see something that needs to be addressed – address it.

When you hear something that you know is going to negatively affect your company or team – speak up.

When you have ideas that could shift or change or improve – especially if it’s not in alignment with “what we’ve always done” – by all means make some noise.

Disrupt. Disrupt. Disrupt.

Honesty is contagious.

New ideas create change.

Change is necessary for growth.

Be a little more of a disruptor this week. See how it feels.

I guarantee you’ll begin to trust and feel more like yourself and that my friend is a beautiful thing.

I believe in you.

Barbara