How Spending Quality Time with Your Team Creates Loyalty

Last week, I discussed how being specific in the verbal praise you give someone can make a big impact on their performance if Words of Affirmation is their primary  language of appreciation.

All month, we’ll be taking a high level look at each language and I’ll show you how implementing appreciation can increase your team’s engagement and retain top talent.

Today we’re talking about Quality Time in the context of showing others you appreciate their efforts.

Have you ever had the thought, “I don’t have time to spend with everyone who wants a piece of my calendar AND get all the things done I have to do. There’s not enough of me to go around.”

Or maybe you’ve interpreted a coworker’s behavior as trying to be your friend or “get in good” with the boss. This isn’t what they’re trying to do.

People who have Quality Time as their primary language want to feel valued for the work they do. And just because they value time doesn’t mean they want to spend time with their boss. Many people enjoy time with their colleagues.

SO, what is Quality Time?

It’s not about proximity, particularly with more and more teams working remotely in different parts of the world. It’s about quality and giving your full attention to that person. And like Words of Affirmation, there are also many ways you can demonstrate Quality Time to another person.

• Focused Attention – This means giving someone your undivided attention. No checking emails, looking at your phone, etc. Multi-tasking is a myth and certainly won’t achieve the goal of making the person feel important. If you can’t honor their request in that moment, you can say, “I want to give you my full attention and I need to complete what I’m currently working on, which will take about 10-15 minutes. Let’s meet then.” Most people will be good with that.
• Quality Conversation – This happens when two people share their thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. This is different than Words of Affirmation in that this focuses more on what we are hearing. You are creating a safe environment where your coworker can share their accomplishments, frustrations and suggestions. If you ask a question, it’s to deepen your understanding. Many managers are trained to look for the solution to what needs fixing. This filters their ability to be empathic and really listen. To make a positive connection, maintain eye contact, resist the temptation to interrupt, listen for feelings as well as thoughts, observe body language and affirm their feelings even if you disagree with their conclusions.
• Shared Experiences – For some people, sharing experiences with their colleagues is an important way for them to feel connected and valued. Traveling to conferences together, going to sporting events, off-site leadership retreats, dining out or other activities where they share an interest can be an important part of team building. They may not like a “sit down and talk” conversation, but they feel appreciated when they are invited to participate in an activity with their manager or colleagues.
• Small Group Dialogue – Some people don’t feel comfortable talking to their supervisor in a one-to-one setting. In a small group where the leader is asking for ideas and input, they feel less intimidated and are more likely to share their thoughts. The key for them to feel appreciated is that the leader listens with keen ears and thanks them for their willingness to contribute.

There is so much more I can share with you on this topic, particularly what pitfalls to watch out for, so feel free to schedule a call with me to continue this conversation.

As a certified facilitator for the Motivating by Appreciation program, I help teams and organizations navigate the world of appreciation by offering assessments to determine which language each person values and how teams can implement the program to create a culture of positivity and increased engagement.

If you would like to hear more about this or other programs I offer, please reach out to me and we’ll connect.

Next week we’ll look at the language of Acts of Service.

Thanks for watching and I’ll see you soon.