Episode 53: Are You Living Or Just Existing?
Do you have regrets? Most people do and according to research, the most common regret is: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” This is very telling of where our society is today. So the real question is – are you living or just existing?
But there is good news. You have the power to stop existing and start really living.
What You’ll Learn:
- What I learned from a whale.
- The Oscar Wilde quote that is still true today.
- How your choices impact your life.
- The difference between existing and really living.
- What you can do right now to make the shift.
Slow down and take inventory of your life experiences. If you find that you have more in the “existing” column than in the “really living” column, now’s your chance to change that.
Listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcast app:
If you want more life in your everyday experiences, schedule a Discovery Call with me today and we’ll talk about how to go from hum drum to Hot Damn!
Episode 53: Are You Living Or Just Existing? (Transcript)
Hello – or should I say, Buenos Dias!
I just got back from an amazing trip to Baja Mexico in the San Ignacio Lagoon.
I was on a whale-watching trip to see the gray whales during their migration north. This was not just any trip. It was an experience I will always remember.
We took a very small plane for a 2-hour ride to our secluded desert beach area where we were then transported by boat to where we would stay for 3 nights.
The glamping tents were luxury all the way. I had my own bathroom with a double sink vanity, king bed, and living room area – I mean this was not like any “camping” I’ve ever done.
The views from my private deck were breathtaking as each morning the sun rose through the clouds that blanketed the sky over the water.
We went out twice a day to see the whales and to hopefully have an encounter with them. Gray whales are naturally curious, so the odds were good that we would get to see them up close and personal.
my whale-watching adventure
On the very first day while out in the boat with 7 other whale enthusiasts, a male whale was curious about us and came up to our boat close enough that I got to touch him. I TOUCHED WHALE! It was magical.
This huge animal raised his head out of the water so I could rub it. I almost don’t have words to describe how I felt in that moment. I could see his eye. He looked right at me as I was rubbing his head. There was a connection there that was palpable for me. It was almost spiritual. It took my breath away.
The people on this trip were great, too. No whiny babies. No problem children. Just adults who all share the desire to be one with a whale if only for a moment and see them in their natural habitat.
We shared stories at mealtime and the food was primo. How they could make all those delicious meals in such a remote area is beyond me. I highly recommend Baja Expeditions if you want a fabulous experience.
Incredibly well-organized outfitter. It will blow your mind.
Living Vs. Existing
This brings me to our topic today – are you living or just existing?
That trip experience made me feel alive. I wasn’t just going through the motions. I was experiencing something new at every turn. I was intentional and present – focused on enjoying each moment and feeling all the feels.
This trip is part of my commitment to really living. Not just existing.
Existing vs really living. Have you ever thought about that? Oscar Wilde once said,
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist.” – Oscar Wilde
Just take that in for a moment. Most people exist.
I believe that to be true and I’ve certainly seen it in my high-achieving clients. The hustle and grind mentality of most organizations that keeps them stuck, thinking this is the way – the only way – to achieve success. But that is a false assumption.
Let me ask you this
When you think back on your life so far, have you been truly living or simply existing?
Many of us have spent a lot of our lives existing going about our business, trying to make it one day after another with our heads down, just doing the grind.
I know that is true for me for part of my life.
I did what I was supposed to do or was expected to do for most of my adult life. I followed what society said I should be doing and while some of it was in line with what I wanted, much of it wasn’t what I would call truly living life.
Maybe you can also think of times when it felt like you were just getting by, going through the motions without a real direction or purpose, or vision. People do it every day.
Existing can look like:
- Get up early
- Work out
- Breakfast. Get the kids off to school. Drive or take the subway to work
- Put in your 8-10 hours
- Kids to piano lessons or sports
- Go home
- Dinner
- Kids to bed
- Then finish up work that you didn’t get to earlier
- In bed before midnight – hopefully
- Rinse, repeat
Sounds a lot like existing to me.
I’m not saying that every day has to be a new adventure. That’s not it at all. I am saying that being more intentional about the time you have on this earth and how you use it is crucial to have a life well-lived.
Connecting With People Who Are Truly Living
I met some interesting people on my whale excursion, and they’d done some amazing things.
One woman raised a son on her own
She chose not to marry the father as society would have preferred back in the seventies. There was so much judgment she had to endure along the way.
She is very successful in her field – which is predominantly male – and her son now has a family and is very successful in his field. And he’s only in his 30’s.
She’s also passionate about adventure travel and has had so many amazing experiences.
I met a man who has been researching autism for over 40 years
He has created breakthrough tools that have helped both verbal and non-verbal children expand their lives while helping their parents, teachers, and caregivers have a richer relationship with them. Wow.
One woman is an avid scuba diver
She has traveled the world to dive with sharks, whales, dolphins and explore the secrets of the underwater world that only few have seen. She never tires of the thrill of leaning back off the boat to be submerged and get curious about what she sees.
One couple I met are professional musicians
They perform in soundtracks for movies and TV. They love to scuba dive, so they own a dive shop to support that passion.
They’ve traveled all over the world for both work and pleasure. They have prioritized really living over a mainstream way of life.
Hearing their stories gave me pause.
Now I’m not saying I haven’t had times in my life that were wonderful – I certainly have had lots of those. I’m sure there have been different times in your life where you’ve experienced the mundane.
Take A Look Back On Your Life
Maybe when you look back, you can remember really wonderful times when you felt fully and truly alive.
- Can you tap into one of those times right now? Relive it?
- What was different for you then?
- What were you focused on, thinking about, and determined to do?
That’s what I invite you to tap into more often. That feeling of aliveness that comes when you are doing something that fills your cup. Soothes your soul. Excites that inner explorer.
Today Is The Day To Truly Start Living
Today is a fresh chance to cultivate a sense of vitality and energy and presence in your daily life.
- What would it be like as you move forward, to bring an intention to truly live?
- What does that look like to you?
- What specific things would it include?
What if you made it a point to truly live your life to the fullest, whatever that means to you.
Today, I encourage you to reflect on what it would mean to really live.
Would that mean more time spent gazing at the stars? Or perhaps it’s living to the fullest in different ways.
You can create more time to:
- Reading books that spark your curiosity
- Creating art
- Spending time with your children or exploring new sites?
- Being present in the daily routines of your life, finding meaning and fulfillment, even when you’re doing the dishes or brushing your teeth, or walking your dog.
Maybe it would mean finding joy in the flavors on your dinner plate. Or immersing yourself in beautiful music every day. Or traveling to places you’ve always dreamed of.
That’s a big one for me. It’s one of the reasons I made my latest women’s retreat international. I love Italy and want to explore more of it, really immerse myself in the culture. And yes – the food. I’m all about the food, but you already knew that, right? 😉
Whatever it means to you. Get in touch with what it would mean to really live, to thrive and feel alive with wonder at the gift of being alive. Remember, today is a fresh chance to not just exist, but to bring in that intention to truly live.
What will you choose? I’d love to hear from you. Drop me a note at hello@barbarachurchill.com. I can’t wait to read all the beautiful ways you have decided to really live.
Join Me At The Exhale Retreat!
My friend, if you are eyeing my women’s retreat to Italy, I invite you to jump in with both feet. It will be the best investment you can make because it’s all about you. And aren’t you worth investing in?
Just picture yourself getting off a plane in the beautiful city of Florence. A private car is ready to take you on a lovely drive through Tuscany to our private country estate.
Staff will greet you with a glass of Prosecco and you’ll be shown to your private suite, where a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a special welcome gift awaits.
You’ll join other women just like you who have decided it’s time to invest in themselves and dive deeper into the questions that need to be asked in order to create the career and life they crave.
What You Can Expect On Your Italian Retreat
- Sumptuous food prepared for us by our very own private chef
- A tour of Florence where beauty abounds
- Authentic Italian cooking class
- Massages, yoga
- A workshop that will teach you how to open yourself up to receive – love, wealth, good health, wisdom, and all the abundance life has to offer. You’ll learn why putting yourself at the top of your To Do list is crucial to every relationship you have – including the one you have with yourself.
There will be many surprises, too, because I just can’t help myself. I love watching women’s faces when they are exposed to experiences they would never think of having.
Join me, won’t you?
When you reserve your spot by 3/1/23, you’ll be part of my Platinum community where you’ll receive group coaching for the 2 months before we depart and one month after we return.
I know how important it is to be supported during the reentry phase of an experience like this one.
Just go to barbarachurchill.com/retreats for all the info and to reserve your space.
You can pay in full or choose a payment plan. Be sure to reserve by 3/1/23 so you are included in the Platinum community. Platinum – that’s nowhere near existing, right?
So, Are You Living Or Just Exising?
You were meant to live a rich and full life, not just go through the motions.
Choose to make today the first day you show up with the intention to really live life full out. No more holding back. You were meant for more. So much more.
Alright, my friend. Until next time remember:
I believe in you.