Why You’re Scared To Be Yourself: 9 Fixed Beliefs (Episode 96)
Why do we hesitate when it comes to being more of ourselves? Social pressure to fit in, family roles and messaging – you name it. It can be scary to fully express who you are – but it’s crucial to experiencing a life well lived.
In this episode, I share why our fears and limitations hold us back from our fullest expression and how to change that.
What You’ll Learn:
- Why you’re scared to be yourself
- How being a ‘misfit’ is more fulfilling.
- 9 fixed beliefs that keep you stuck.
Listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcast app:
More and more, women are realizing that they want and need to express themselves fully. Not sure how to do that? I can help! Schedule your Discovery Call with me today and we’ll partner so you can create a next phase that is not only authentically you, it’s super fun.
Why You’re Scared To Be Yourself: 9 Fixed Beliefs (Transcript)
You are listening to episode 96 of Your Next Phase Podcast. The one where I share why you’re hesitant to be more yourself and why you need to shift that thinking.
Do you ever have those days where you pop out of bed early and get more done in the first couple of hours than you do in the rest of the day?
That is today for me for sure and I find great satisfaction in checking things off my list and loving the feeling of completion. I’ve got a full day ahead, too, with coaching clients, Discovery calls and a couple of fun things toward the day’s end. This is a little snippet of me being me in the world, doing what I love doing.
In the last episode I shared how to quiet the self-doubt voice in your head and offered an exercise that was really impactful for me and the women I experienced it with and invited you to do it, too. If you did, I’d love to hear from you about what came up and what your experience was on hearing how ultra fabulous you are.
Shoot me an email at hello@barbarachurchill.com. And just a reminder about that exercise, what you see and admire in others also resides inside you.
This week I want to share some thoughts that will be a good piggyback to last week.
Why We’re Scared To Be Ourselves
I was listening to a podcast recently and the question of why we’re scared to be ourselves came up so that’s what I want to talk about today.
It’s a good one because we’ve all experienced a time when we’ve dialed it back when showing our personality in certain situations or were told we were too much.
There’s a lot of cultural pressure to “fit in”, which is why I’m not a big fan of social media.
What if we embraced the idea of being a social media misfit and just did our own thing, the way we wanted to and didn’t give a flying fig about what anyone else thought?
When you allow yourself to be a misfit you can find your own talents and your own way. Sounds very freeing to me.
This idea of being more yourself can be a bit daunting, especially if you haven’t allowed yourself to do it.
When you’re…
- At work do you allow yourself to be totally and completely authentic or do you change it to suit the company culture?
- In a meeting do you chime in with your ideas or do you wait to see what others contribute before sharing your thoughts?
- Out with friends do you express your thoughts and feelings, or do you hold back so you don’t offend anyone?
This is the time to be honest with yourself. You can’t explore and create your next phase if you aren’t willing to look at yourself and your behavior honestly. Now notice I didn’t say judgmentally. This is a judgment-free zone, OK?
In this same podcast, the guest, Penny Pierce (she’s written several books on intuition and transformation) – shared nine beliefs that keep you stuck and block you from being fully you out in the world.
These beliefs keep you from imagining and moving forward to something new and different – aka your next phase.
I loved these so much that I wanted to share them with you.
9 Fixed Beliefs That Keep You Stuck
- Your life rules: ways you think things must work for you to be successful.
- Things you never want to do.
- Things you think you can’t do.
- Reasons you are the way you are. The stories you tell about your identity.
- Things you think can never change. Things you think are impossible.
- Family traits you still carry as though you must.
- Typical viewpoints from your culture or gender.
- Things you’re proud of yourself for. Even positive things can block us.
- Things you think you haven’t done well enough.
How can you get these Fixed beliefs out of your way?
Begin by taking baby steps.
1. Notice Your Negative Self-Talk
Try to notice for a week the negative declarative statements that your left brain puts out.
“I don’t have time for that.”
“I don’t do that.”
“I’m not ready for that.”
“I can’t afford that.”
Notice when you say these kinds of things that you cut out half of the world and half of those possibilities.
So, notice these kinds of thoughts for a week and write them down in your journal.
2. Reframe Your Thoughts
Turn these initial thoughts and negative self-talk around to focus on the positive.
For example: “I don’t have time for that” becomes “I have plenty of time to do that. It’s easy for me to do that.”
Notice how your body responds to the shift in thinking. It feels different, so much more positive, right?
3. Think About What You Really Want
Think about what’s more in alignment with what you really want.
- Write that down.
- Then insert that new thought every time that old declarative statement pops in.
This creates a new neural pathway and allows energy to flow.
OK – that’s what I have for you this week, my loves.
Take the time to prioritize yourself and what you really desire and do the exercise from last week and continue this exploration with what I shared in this podcast.
Until next time remember:
I believe in you.