Episode 70: Play More To Lead Better

You’re working harder than ever, but are you getting out what you’re putting in? Do you feel good about your efforts and can easily transition from work to play?

If not, you’re in good company. 

Work hard. Play hard. That isn’t cutting it anymore because most people forget about the play.

This episode will help you add more play into each day.

What You’ll Learn:

• The big lie companies want you to believe.
• Why you need to rethink your morning routine.
• How to add dopamine hits throughout your day.
• The best “menu” you’ll ever experience.

Listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcast app:

Apple | Spotify | Audible 

It’s time you feel good and have more fun. Schedule your Discovery Call with me today and together we can build a menu that totally fits your taste for fun and just in time for summer. 

Episode 70: Play More To Lead Better (Transcript)

You are listening to episode 70 of the Create What You Crave Podcast. The one where I share why you must play this summer so you can be a better leader.

Hello my friends! Can you believe we’re one full month into summer already? 

Sheesh how time flies by. And it’s been a goofy month hasn’t it? Such weird weather all across the United States – really hot, then really cold. 

So many forest fires here and in Canada. I live in Minnesota and I have been struck by how hazy our skies have been this month because of the winds carrying the smoke from those fires. We actually made national news because of our poor air quality. 

I can’t imagine how bad it is in Canada, so for my Canadian listeners, know I’m sending all kinds of love and support to you. 

Since it’s summer do you find yourself pining to get out and play? 

Hang in the pool on a floating chaise lounge while sipping a cool drink and reading your favorite smutty novel? 

Or maybe you’re a golfer or pickleball player and enjoy spending lots of time outside playing your favorite sport. 

Do you have a cabin? How much time have you spent there so far? Not much I’m guessing if you’re anything like my clients. They are so overworked and burnt out that the thought of taking time away from the craziness of their jobs makes their heads hurt.

But that’s exactly what they – and you – need to do. 

You have to get out and play so you can be a better leader for your team and person in general. 

This is a very necessary conversation about how we’ve been outsourcing and holding our dopamine hostage and why for many of us and dare I say most of us, it’s a career killer.

Work Hard, Play Hard?

You’re no doubt heard the phrase, “Work hard, play hard”, right? 

That was a mantra that I heard when I first entered the workforce after college. 

I have companies I work with who subscribe to that philosophy and think it’s the only way to be. Well, I never liked or understood that phrase. 

I get the work-hard piece. Being raised by a father who worked his ass off and took great pride in working long hours during the week, then getting things checked off his “to do” list on the weekends. 

He was very well respected by his peers, and I get it. That was his generation. 

I do think putting in a good days’ work is fulfilling, but it doesn’t have to be ‘hard’. 

Then there’s the whole ‘play hard’ thing. Play isn’t hard, right? I know extreme sports can be considered playing hard or a good workout or 20-mile bike ride, but I just never liked the concept of play being hard. 

I like to play, let loose, have fun, giggle, belly-laugh. That sounds like play to me.

I don’t want to have to earn my play 

That was taught to me from a very early age. 

First you work hard, then you play hard. Back and forth, back and forth. 

But you never get to play until you work hard. 

Does it always have to be earned? 

Our society tells us, yes it does. 

• Clean your room then you can go outside. 
• Do your chores first, then you can go to a friend’s house. 

What if I just wanted to make play part of my life? Nope. It has to be earned. And I know my clients believe this, too, just as I’m sure you do as well.  

We have given away our power to others who dictate when we can play or get a reward.

Look at sales. If you don’t hit your goal, you don’t go on the trip. Shame on you. See all the other good salespeople getting on that plane? Nope, not you. You didn’t work hard enough, so you don’t get to play. 

The power lies with someone else. 

How demotivating is that! 

And the finish line keeps getting moved, right? 

Unrealistic Expectations

I have several clients right now who are dealing with unrealistic expectations from their leadership team and they are at their wits end on how to keep an already burned-out team going to make the impossible happen. 

There’s so much stress just because someone else said the goal should be “X” without any regard for what it will actually take to make that a reality. 

This is an old and outdated model of sales and work and leadership that doesn’t work anymore. 

So, what do you do instead?

Take charge of your own play & your own rewards 

This is where dopamine comes in – a feel-good hormone that we get when we exercise, eat something yummy or have sex. It’s a great feeling and one we can get addicted to. 

That’s where we get into trouble with food or alcohol or shopping – any of the behaviors where we get a quick hit of deliciousness. 

We want to use our prefrontal cortex to make decisions instead of the other parts of our brain, but that’s where the dopamine hit goes. We can begin to crave that hit.

That’s what the Procrastinator Derailer™ does. It’s looking for that feel-good hit – sugar, scrolling TikTok videos, potato chips, online shopping – whatever gives you the hit is what your brain is going to tell you to do if you aren’t paying attention. 

Dopamine is a feel-good neurotransmitter. Dopamine promotes pleasure and learning and growth and motivation.

So, let’s think about this. 

This work hard, play hard mentality says we have to sit through the discomfort of the tasks so that we get the huge dopamine hit at the end of the task from the sense of accomplishment. 

That’s holding our dopamine hostage.

The very thing we need for learning and motivation to do the task is being withheld from us until we do the task. That certainly works for some, but not all. It doesn’t work for me for sure. 

What about those who are wired differently? How do we lead them? 

It can’t be a cookie-cutter system.

This is where you need to become a better leader by getting to know how each person on your team works, what motivates them, and what their energy levels are like during the day. 

This old way of doing work can make the tasks even harder for those who don’t get jazzed up by the concept.

Science shows us that we will get more done and have a higher quality of production when we are in the joy of it, in the happiness of it now, not later.

• What if we stop withholding dopamine? 
• What if we actually fueled our days with dopamine on the front end? 

Now, there are a lot of ways you can do this, and we’ve all heard this – why you want to exercise first thing in the morning; go get that bright sunshine in the morning; meditate, or any other kind of mindfulness activity. 

We get to be the source of our happiness and you as a leader get to teach them how to do this and of course you get to do this for yourself.

How? Create a dopamine menu 

Now a dopamine menu is an ADHD tool. I have two boys with ADHD and their doctor shared this with us. I’d forgotten about it until I heard it on a podcast that one of my mentors did. 

This is a menu you create of what fuels dopamine for you so that you can use that dopamine to become more able to create your motivation, to spur your growth on the front end. 

It’s at the beginning of the work rather than at the end.

The reason it’s called a menu is because we’re going to borrow language from restaurant menus to categorize your activities. 

• Appetizers are kind of quick hits of dopamine. 
• Main entrees require a little bit more planning, but they give you a larger dose of dopamine.
• Sides would be things that you can do or engage in alongside the work that you are doing. 
• And desserts – they come after all the work is done. That’s the reward, right? So, Netflix or scrolling social media, that’s what you get to do after your “main meal” so to speak. That’s the dessert.

How do you create a “dopamenu?” 

Here are a couple of questions for you:

• What creates more energy in your day? And if you don’t know pay attention over the next week or so and just pay attention. 
• What energizes you? What activities do you do that have nothing to do with your business or job? Just in general, what energizes you? 
• What brings you joy? What makes you happy?  
• What are you doing that feels forced? What do you do? How can you accomplish the same thing with more energy or play or joy?

I’ve recently started to do this for myself because I found that the general ways we’re told to do things – some don’t work well for me.

My appetizers:

Deep breaths, going outside to cut some flowers or sitting on my front step taking in a Nature moment.

My entrees:

Taking a lunch break and reading a good book, taking a walk with a friend, dinner out, hanging with my kids, gardening, yoga etc. These take longer, which is why I do most of them after work.

My Sides:

Having instrumental music playing in the background while I work, sipping something delicious, using Voxer to send quick messages to colleagues. 

When you incorporate more play/fun/joy into your workday, you get more energized and motivated – and creative. 

You come up with solutions faster and easier because you’ve frontloaded your day with dopamine and actually feel good at work.

What a concept, right? 

This will be very noticeable to your team. 

I invite you to teach them this method individually. 

Again, this isn’t my idea. It’s an ADHD tool that my sons were taught when they were diagnosed years ago.

 I just think it’s an amazing tool for everyone. It puts you in control of creating your own dopamine. 

I also did a 4-part series on play for this podcast. Listen to episodes 33-36 for some great ideas, too…

• Ep. 33: The Importance of Play For Adults
• Ep 34: Learn To Play Solo
• Ep 35: Get Curious About Play
• Ep 36: The Power of Play

You are the source of your happiness and joy. Isn’t that great!

As for me, I’ve decided to take a break from recording this podcast for the rest of the summer.

I am in need of a serious play infusion in my life so I’m practicing what I teach and getting intentional about the fun I’m creating. 

I’m curious what you think about this and how you might use it for yourself and your team. Reach out to me at hello@barbarachurchill.com and let me know. And if you need help strategizing how to help your team, I’m your gal. 

Schedule your Discovery Call with me today and let’s get on this now. There’s no better time than right now.

Alright my friends, go forth and create a menu that makes your mouth water and your heart sing.

Until next time, remember:

I believe in you.