Episode 67: Why Learning To Let Go Is The Answer
Learning to let go.
Not an easy thing to do, especially if you’re a leader who is used to managing (or controlling) everything and everyone around you.
Why is that?
Notice that we usually think of negative outcomes to letting go. “Things won’t go the way I want them.” “He’ll leave me.” “She won’t do it the way I want it done if I don’t keep on top of her.” It’s a lot of responsibility and work to try to keep everyone and everything on a short leash.
The only healthy option is to release it.
What You’ll Learn:
- What to do when technology highjacks your day.
- When you get signs, pay attention.
- What letting go needs in order to work.
- A very special poem that is spot on.
Listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcast app:
Life throws curveballs and you need to know how to handle them when they come. Schedule your Discovery Call with me today so we can craft a plan that will put you back in the driver’s seat of your career and life.
Episode 67: Why Learning To Let Go Is the Answer
You are listening to episode 67 of the Create What You Crave Podcast. The one where I show you how to let go and trust.
Hello, hello, hello! Oh happy day we are together again. I’m just back from a whirlwind trip to Nashville where I spoke to a group in the medical profession about imposter syndrome and the impact it has on doctors, nurses – everyone in medicine.
I wasn’t there even 24 hours, but it was so fun! I got to meet some of the attendees the night before my speech while I was scoping out the room arrangement.
They were all very excited about the topic and eager to learn how to cope with this particular kind of self-doubt. They were also eager to learn how to let it go.
So that’s my topic for today…
Learning To Let Go
When I was in Nashville, I ate dinner in the hotel restaurant. Now if you know me well, you know I hate eating alone. Absolutely hate it. I’d rather have room service than dine by myself.
But a dear friend of mine challenged me to do it and have fun doing it, so I promised her I would, and guess what? I had a blast!
This is where I learned to let go
I asked to be seated in a quiet area so I could relax and read my book. I was shown to a high-top counter at the end of the see-through kitchen, where I could see the entire restaurant and observe other diners, but not have to be right in the middle of the action.
Once I settled in, ordered my food from a fab server and was visited by the chef on duty that night. He was great and we had some wonderful conversations about food. I had a lovely meal, chatted with my server and the chef on and off and read my book. I was there for over an hour.
I’m telling you this because I decided to let go of the belief that eating alone is bad and uncomfortable and embraced my newfound belief that eating alone can be enjoyable – and even fun.
Helping Others Let Go
On the plane ride back to Minneapolis, I was seated next to a man who experienced high anxiety levels when he flies and he really can’t handle delays.
So, what do you think happened on this flight? It was delayed due to a mechanical issue.
He began to get very agitated so I leaned over and asked if I could help. He asked how and I said I was a leadership and life coach and I’m good at listening and asking key questions.
So, he was all in, and much to my surprise, within a few minutes, his anxiety level came way down.
Why?
Because I was engaging him in conversation that had nothing to do with his anxiety or the problem and he let go of his worry. He let go.
–
I have had a day my friends. I caught some kind of cold thing last week and it has taken hold.
Today is the first day I’ve had a voice so I ran into my office to record this episode before the coughing fits started. I got through it and discovered that my computer didn’t use the correct microphone, so I had to have my tech peeps fix this. So 4 hours later, I’m recording.
My brain did some mental gymnastics around how bad this was and how I was going to be late and how unprofessional… But I chose not to listen to Ursula and decided to let it all go.
I’m telling you this because letting go is sometimes the only way to keep your sanity and get anything done.
Life is going to throw curveballs and if we get too married to what we think the outcome should be and it doesn’t go that way, we cause ourselves unnecessary stress.
It got me thinking…
What Is Letting Go Really All About?
Are you holding on to stuff or people you don’t need anymore and don’t serve you?
- Is letting go about detaching with love?
- Is it a control thing? (yes, it usually is).
Let’s look at this a little more.
Letting go. When I first think of this, I think of falling, as in “I let go of the trapeze handle” and fall to my death.
Well, maybe not so dramatic, but I do think of falling. So why am I so opposed to falling? I haven’t taken a really bad fall, other than the typical bike falls as a kid, so what’s up with that?
Maybe it’s not about actually falling down physically.
Maybe it’s about “falling down” emotionally. Ok, now we might be getting somewhere.
Have you wondered how to let go?
To really let go of something you have to release it from your grasp, so to speak. Holding on to something or someone so tightly takes an enormous amount of energy and is very draining.
Ask yourself:
- Why do you feel you need to do this?
- How is it enhancing your life or the life of the person to which you’re directing your attention?
- What do you imagine you will lose if you release your “grip”?
Notice that we usually think of negative outcomes to letting go.
“Things won’t go the way I want them.”
“He’ll leave me.”
“She won’t do it the way I want it done if I don’t keep on top of her.”
It’s a lot of responsibility and work to try to keep everyone and everything on a short leash. I’m getting tired just thinking about it.
The only healthy option is to release it.
Pry open your fingers.
Let it go.
In releasing it, you need to trust that you will not fall. Ah, the “T” word. We control freaks have a hard time with that word.
Have you seen that trust exercise where one person stands with their back to a small group of people and fall back, trusting that the group will catch them?
They can’t see what the outcome will be, they just fall back.
In life that’s called faith. In order to trust, you need to have faith.
Aye, the rub! It all comes down to that, doesn’t it?
Faith doesn’t just happen overnight. Think of it like a muscle that has to be strengthened daily by being used daily. The more you “use” your faith, the stronger it will become.
Start out small and give yourself time. This is big stuff and takes a lot of practice. Be patient with yourself. If you fall back, start again.
Here’s a great quote from Emmanuel Teney:
“As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.”
I would also add – to the great delight and benefit of others – especially those to whom your attention is directed! ☺
What Are You Learning To Let Go Of?
Let me know and keep me posted on how it’s going. Email me at hello@barbarachurchill.com.
I have decided to let go of some family issues that are massive and have taken an enormous amount of my time. I can’t change them and now I must release them for my own sanity and benefit. Is it hard? Yes, and I’m so worth it.
Let go of your fear, your judgments, your worry.
Just let go.
–
She Let Go – By Rev. Safire Rose
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of fear. She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely,
without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a
book on how to let go… She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her day-timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line.
She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
Let me know what you’re letting go of and until next time remember:
I believe in you.