How To Make Fear Your Friend (Episode 74)
Have you ever thought about how to make fear your friend?
Fear can be something you feel when you’re watching a scary movie. It can also be something you feel when you are pushing yourself to do more or be more. And that kind of fear can hold you back.
But have you ever thought of how fear could be an asset?
In this week’s episode, I share my new definition of fear that will leave you feeling fabulous!
What You’ll Learn:
- How you can meet me in-person along with other amazing women.
- The 2 kinds of fear – healthy and destructive.
- The new definition of fear that I know you’re going to love.
- My invitation to you to finally ditch your fear for good.
Your Next Phase podcast is here to help you release your fears on what’s next for you. But a podcast can’t be your only tool. You need a coach and I’m here for you.
Listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcast app:
Schedule your Discovery Call with me today so you can rewrite your fear stories so they have a happy ending.
How To Make Fear Your Friend, Episode 74 (Transcript)
You are listening to episode 74 of Your Next Phase Podcast. The one where I challenge you to make fear your friend. It’s not crazy – I’ll explain.
Welcome to Your Next Phase podcast. I’m your hostess with the mostess, Barbara Churchill and I’m thrilled to be with you today.
I love spending time with you each week, sharing my thoughts and talking about topics that you may not talk about with people in your world. So I’m glad I can create a safe space for you to listen and ponder and put these tools to use in your own life.
Before we jump in, I wanted to share some news!
Join Me For Dinner!
If you’d like to spend some time together, in the very near future I’ll be hosting small group dinners where we’ll share a fabulous meal prepared especially for us and talk about things that are important to you.
So many women tell me they don’t have a safe place to share or talk openly about what’s going on at work or in their lives. That’s why I want to create a safe space for us to connect.
If you’d like to be put on the list of women who are interested in meeting in the Twin Cities area, please send me an email at hello@barbarachurchill.com with the subject line “Invite me to dinner!” and I’ll make sure to add your name to the list to get all the delicious details.
All month I’ve been sharing what I learned from taking a couple of months off this summer from recording this podcast. And based on comments and emails you are getting a lot out of it – which makes me very happy.
I always want to present content that is valuable and pertains to what’s going on in your world. In last week’s episode, I talked about the importance of feelings and how processing them can actually improve your overall health and well-being.
I want to continue with feelings but hone in on one that is a bugger for millions of people. And that feeling is fear.
Fear can be paralyzing
It can hold you back from growing and creating both personally and professionally. It stops you from becoming everything you are meant to be.
Often, fear wakes you up in the middle of the night and keeps you awake for hours. I know this all too well.
When you first feel fear, you don’t feel anxiety and stress. They are the result of feeling too much fear energy in your body.
For most of our lives, we’ve been told that fear is a bad thing, something to avoid.
Personally, I don’t like scary movies and I hate horror movies because I don’t like that feeling of being afraid.
I hated being surprised and scared as a kid when my sister would hide and jump out at me from behind a door.
Being afraid to go for something big like a promotion or a dream. It can be very scary and uncomfortable.
Fear Can Also Be Your Friend
However, fear doesn’t have to be a bad thing, in fact in many instances it isn’t.
Our senses are incredibly valuable to us and keep us safe.
Walking down a dark street, you may feel fear at seeing a shadowy figure and change directions. That’s a good thing. Your instincts kicked in and you protected yourself from something that could possibly harm you. That’s real fear – fear of something real.
Now the other kind of fear is the kind that lives in your head – in your thoughts.
Those thoughts that create fear in you aren’t useful in any way. You aren’t in real danger, your brain is creating stories that create that feeling of fear.
Your body doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined fear – it still feels it. And that feeling causes stress and anxiety which can create a vicious cycle that keeps you playing small.
But what if you decided that fear could be your friend?
Wait – what?! I know. Sounds crazy, right? But hang in there with me.
I’ve experienced more than my fair share of fear-based stories in my head over the course of my life. Due to this, I’ve missed out on some pretty cool experiences. I’m sure you have, too.
How To Make Fear Your Friend
Ready to make the shift you need to embrace fear and make it your friend?
Create A New Definition For Fear
I’m sure you’ve heard the old acronym for fear:
FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real
Now in my head, I understand that and can intellectually get a handle on it. But in the middle of the night – my brain’s favorite time to spin – I’m less likely to be able to do that.
On one of my morning walks I came up with a new acronym. I love my walks and get so many ideas when I’m out in Nature.
What do I need to think about fear to be less afraid to feel it? This is what I came up with:
New definition:
FEAR = Fabulous Energy And Resilience
Think about that. There’s no way you hold yourself back when you are feeling fabulous energy, right?
Take a minute right now to feel that.
You can do anything and love doing it.
Now, of course, you’re not always going to hit a home run, right? There will be times when you miss the mark or just plain fall flat on your face.
That’s where the resilience comes in.
Failure has such a negative connotation to it because we live in a society that doesn’t accept anything but winning. Think about that.
Even in the Olympics winning a gold medal is the only thing that matters. Listen to the announcers when the silver or bronze medals are announced. It’s always got a disclaimer at the end like – well at least she got a medal, too bad she didn’t come in first. Seriously?!
Fabulous Energy And Resilience. That’s what mental fear means to me now.
I’m practicing this new definition and I invite you to do the same.
What could your life look like if this is what you now believed to be true instead of all those pesky fear stories that have never served you?
Just imagine!
Now if you’re like most people, this DIY mindset shift is going to be difficult to do on your own and I get it.
That’s why the self-help industry is a multi-billion-dollar monster.
In my private coaching practice, I help my clients explore their fear stories and release them once and for all. I’d love to help you, too. Take the first step to push past your fear story and schedule your complimentary Discovery Call with me today.
Fear doesn’t have to hold you back. You have the power to change how you look at fear and embrace this new definition. Fabulous Energy And Resilience.
Alright, my fabulous friend. Until next time, remember:
I believe in you.